Adventures of Wufei and Treize the Magic Disco Imp
by Kuroi soshite Shiro
Summary: Hoshi: Very random. And Treize is a fairy. not an imp Yumiko: Read and review please!
1. The Beginning

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A/N:

Hoshi: This was…random.

Yumiko: You really think that needs pointing out?

Hoshi: Well…not really, no. I was bored, I'd finished a practices SATs test. Give me some credit!

Yumiko: No.

Hoshi: It _is_ partly your fault, not being in for me to call up or on MSN! You're not allowed to have a life!! You're my boredom relief!

Yumiko: oO;; You've been on the Pepsi Max again, haven't you?

Hoshi: *pouts* no. I haven't had any since yesterday. Mum doesn't buy it.

Yumiko: My heart bleeds for you.

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Wufei was walking innocently down an innocent street in the innocent way that innocent people innocently walk down innocent streets. He innocently walked down one innocent street then innocently turned into another innocent street. All very innocent really. But, on this very innocent day, on this very innocent street, this very innocent boy was in for a not very innocent at all really meeting. This innocent boy blinked innocently and confusedly ((Is that even a word? Hell, who cares?)) at the very un-innocent sight. 

"Treize…" He said slowly and innocently. "Why are you dressed like a Saturday Night Fever reject?" Treize looked at him, striking a disco pose.

"I'm not Treize! I'm the magic disco fairy!" Wufei innocently raised an innocent eyebrow. Treize pouted. "Okay. So maybe I am Treize. But give me some credit! I'm dead! How else was I supposed to get in this fic!?" Wufei innocently raised the other innocent eyebrow ((Just as the innocent writer of innocent fanfiction innocently decided that she was innocently bored with innocently writing the word innocent. ^.~)) Treize face-faulted. "Uh...forget I said that."

"Gladly."

"*ahem* Anyway, I am here to take you on a journey!"

"Do you have to?"

"Give us a kiss and I'll leave it."

"When're we leaving?" Treize sweatdropped. 

"Oh come on, I'm not _that_ bad!" Wufei waved a hand in dismissal.

"Just get a move on. I have places to be you know!" Treize stared at him in disbelief. "It can't be that surprising!" Treize stood still for a few moments, then struck the disco pose again.

"Okay! Hold my hand and we shall go!"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes." Wufei sighed and took Treize's hand.

"Let's get this over with then." There was a flash and they were gone. 

Wufei looked around him.

"Where are we?"

"Second section of the first chapter." Wufei glared at Treize, then face-faulted. Treize smiled and waved his pom-poms.

"You like it!?" Wufei stared.

"Well...it looks....different." Treize leapt in the air and waved his pom-poms.

"Go Epyon!" Wufei covered his eyes with one hand, waving at Treize with the other.

"Could you please...stop that? That skirt is very short." 

"It shows off my shapely legs!" Wufei sweatdropped.

"Uh...yeah. So where are we?"

"In a universe where you don't exist."

"What is this, some kind of bad Christmas Carol spoof?"

"Don't ask me. I'm just a cheerleader." 

"Ri-ight." Wufei looked around. They were in a high school. Duo and Quatre were leaning on a wall, watching the people walk past. Zechs rounded a corner. Duo cheered.

"Here comes Sexy Zechsy!"

"Wa-hey!" Zechs flushed bright red and walked back around the corner. Wufei raised an eyebrow.

"Well, Maxwell hasn't changed a bit, but since when did Quatre know the Builder's Mating call? And Zechs not liking attention!?" There was no reply. "Treize? Treize?" He looked around. Treize appeared from around the corner Zechs had disappeared round, straightening his cheerleading uniform. He looked at Wufei.

"Yes? You called?" Wufei shook his head.

"Never mind. Can we go now?" He gestured at Duo and Quatre. "I don't particularly want to watch those two heckling any more." Treize peered over Wufei's shoulder.

"That's not all they're doing." He observed. Wufei flushed red.

"I don't.Want. To see. I'll never be able to look at them the same way again anyway. Can we leave?" Treize shrugged.

"Okay. We'll go see the Maganuacs." There was a flash, then some appropriate bars of music.

Random Maganuacs: "We're Maganuacs of the desert,

We rarely have fez-hurts, ((What!?))

We don't drink tea,

Or go to Sea,

Cuz Abdul throws his desserts.

There's a lot of sand in Arabia,

You'll never find your keys-ia,

We're Maganuacs of the desert,

We randomly have high spurts,

And we're out of luck,

And quite stuck,

To find a rhyme for desert.

We're often mad in mansions,

We swing from light expansions,

Though we're big and slow,

There's stuff that we don't know,

In our hats, we keep our cats,

And impersonate John Snow.

It's a busy life for in mansions,"

Rashid: "((Bass)) I have to wax my bunions."

".....On second thoughts....Let's _not _go see the Maganuacs. They're very silly people." Wufei nodded.

"Who really need to scrape the bottom of the barrel for rhymes." Wufei looked around him. "Where are we?" 

"Same universe, different area." 

"That would explain why you're still wearing the cheerleading outfit." Treize pulled a face, then looked at his non-existent watch. "5...4...3...2...1..." The door to the room bursts open and Heero and Trowa appear doing the can-can.

"Duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh duh-duh duh-duh duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh. Duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh-duh-duh-duh-duh." Wufei's eyes bugged. 

"Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me!" Relena, Hilde, Dorothy, Noin, Kathy and Une dance in and join on either side, Trowa and Heero in the middle. 

"Duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh duh-duh duh-duh duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh. Duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh-duh-duh-duh-duh." Then the scene suddenly cut to a stage and everyone was dressed in red frilly can-can dresses with red feathers in their hair. "Duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh duh-duh duh-duh duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh. Duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh duh-duh duh-duh duh duh-duh-duh-duh-duh." There was a flash, then black. Wufei stared at Treize.

"Oh. My. God." He rubbed at his eyes with his hands. "I did _not_ just see that!"

"Actually, you did." Treize patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry. After denial comes acceptance." Wufei just glared at him. 

"Can we go? Please?" Treize rolled his eyes.

"Fine, hold my hand." Wufei complied. There was another flash and they were gone.

Wufei looked down at himself and gave a _very_ unmanly shriek.

"I'M WEARING A SKIRT!!" He screamed. Treize nodded.

"You look good in it too, rwowr." Wufei glared at him. 

"You're in a tux." Wufei observed.

"I am indeedy." 

"_Why?_" 

"You'll find out in a minute."

"Wu! Hey 'Fei!" Wufei leaped behind Treize as he spotted Duo, Quatre, Heero and Trowa running over. When they arrived, Duo frowned. "Why're you transformed? Is there trouble!?" Wufei opened his mouth to retort, then paused when he tried to process what he had heard. The other pilots yelled something each and there were flashes. When the light had cleared, they were in fukus. Wufei face-faulted.

"Duo."

"Yeah, Sailor Mars?"

"You have meatball hair." 

"You've been fighting with me for two years and you've only just realized that I get meatballs when I transform? Ai!" Quatre frowned.

"Sailor Mars, why **_are_** you transformed?" Wufei blinked.

"I, uh, didn't realise I was. This prick brought me here and I was wearing a skirt!" Duo frowned.

"Tuxedo Treize, is this true?" Treize shot Duo and innocent look and Duo turned to Wufei with an expectant look.

"What!?" Wufei exploded.

"Tell the truth, Mars."

"HAVE YOU ALL GONE PSYCO!?" Wufei yelled. "YOU'RE ALL IN SKIRTS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!" Heero looked at him flatly.

"We have to wear these to win the war." Wufei stared at him.

"We…skirts….win…war?" Wufei couldn't quite remember the alphabet. "Who's this war against? Pimps?"

"No. The Ozaverse." Wufei raised his eyebrows.

"The Ozaverse."

"Yes Mars, the Ozaverse. Don't you listen to anything Luna says?" Wufei looked at them all, then turned to Treize. 

"I want to leave. **_Now._**" Treize shrugged. 

"Okay, wait a minute. There's something I want to do." Wufei grabbed his collar before he could move. 

"You are _not_ going to go and find if Zechs wears one of these, okay? We're leaving. NOW!" Duo glared at Wufei.

"Mars, you can't leave us here! If there's trouble, we'll need all of us fighting!" Wufei just pulled a face at him and he and Treize disappeared with a flash.

Wufei looked around him cautiously.

"Where are we?" 

"Your house." Treize replied flatly.

"My house."

"Yes, Chang. Your house." Wufei narrowed his eyes.

"Why?"

"Because I'm tired. You go sleep. I'll be back tomorrow for more hopping." Treize disappeared. Wufei sat down on the bed.

"More…hopping?" He repeated weakly. Groaning, he flopped back onto the bed. "I need some asparin."

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Yumiko: You've set it up for another chapter?

Hoshi: Eh. I got bored. I wanted to get it posted as soon as possible and I was running out of inspiration. 

Yumiko: Oh?

Hoshi: I needed time to think up more crap, so to get it posted I chaptered it. Problem?

Yumiko: Oh, no. I was just wondering how long "Treize the Magic Disco Fairy" is going to be using the spare room for, that's all. 

Hoshi: Whatever. Review please!


	2. The bit after the beginning, which is no...

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Hoshi: The next chappy! ^^

Yumiko: Beware. Blatant self-insertion. Not that anyone cares anyway.

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Wufei was woken up the next morning by Treize the magic disco fairy hitting him over the head with a pillow.

"Wake up wake up wake up!" Wufei grumbled something and smacked Treize with the other pillow.

"Leave me alone." Treize yanked the blankets back and pulled Wufei up by his hair.

"I will not leave you alone because I need your help. Now get dressed. " There was a pause. "Unless of course you **want** to go out in your boxer shorts." Wufei hit Treize with the pillow again and stalked out the room. He stalked back into the room a few minutes later, all washed and dressed. Treize sweatdropped. "Wow. Speed cleaning." Wufei just glared at him.

"What do you want help with?" Treize grabbed his hand and the pair disappeared.

Wufei looked around the room they were in. It was a particularly comfortable looking room. He shot a sidelong glance at Treize.

"Why are we here? I don't see any problem."

"Just wait." Suddenly there came a noise.

[_CRASHclangthud_ ]

"Ryan, put Fluffy Uncle Mike {1} down!" 

[_thumpthumpthump**poing**_.]

"No! Katie! Don't touch the-" 

[**_BOOOOOOOM!!_**]

The door to the room slammed open and a teenaged girl, with brown hair, stalked in, a four year old boy under one arm and a six year old girl under the other. All of them were covered with soot and there was smoke coming from the room they'd just come out of. She stalked past Treize and Wufei and walked straight through another door.

"Here, play with the kitties."

"Hoshi! That's cruel!"

"The cats can handle it."

[**_mrrrrrow!!_** ClatterthumpthudCLANGfwappitfwappitfwappit]

The door opened again the girl stalked out, followed by another, blonde girl.

"Yumiko, stop being such a wuss." Hoshi ordered. Yumiko glared at her.

"You've just sentenced our cats to a fate worse than death, and you expect me to be calm about it!?" 

"Yes." Hoshi turned to Treize. "I see you brought your friend. Good. We need a hand with those two little horrors." She patted Wufei on the head. "Be a good boy and go pick me out a weapon for today whilst I go wash up." She turned and walked up the stairs. Yumiko looked at Wufei.

"When you're done, can you give me a hand cleaning the study? Katie blew up the insta-gloop machine, and now the entire room'll be covered in multi-coloured goo." She walked off. Wufei stared at Treize.

"How do you know these people!?" Treize shrugged.

"They're the authors. Plus, they're letting me stay here, so I can't argue." He pointed to a closet. "Weapon Closet's there. I'd do what they say, or you might find yourself on the wrong end of a novelty oversized pack of Wriggly's chewing gum." Wufei stared at Treize as he walked off, then shook himself and made his way over to the cupboard. He opened the door and looked in. It was filled to the brim with various weapons, A scythe, a wizard's staff and an oversized novelty pack of Wriggly's chewing gum to mention but a few. Quickly, he pulled out the wizard's staff and slammed the door, just as Hoshi appeared from upstairs and took the staff off Wufei.

"Spankashun." She turned and wandered into the kitchen. 

Blinking, Wufei made his way over to the study. He opened the door, stepped in and got a big blob of green sludge dropped on his head. Raising a hand hesitantly, he wiped off the ooze that was squelching it's way down his forehead. Before he could do anything, a mop was shoved in one hand and a bucket of soapy water in the other. 

"There y'go. Thanks." Wufei stared as Yumiko walked out, then looked around the room. Half of it was perfectly clean. The other half was covered in multi-coloured glop and a machine near the wall was constantly spewing out more.

"Oh for the love of Nataku." He muttered, before setting to work on the mess.

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Two hours later, Wufei staggered out of the study, leaning on the mop for support, covered in almost as much goo as the wall had been. Hoshi poked her head in the room and made a sound of being satisfied.

"You did a good job." Wufei just glared at her. There was a crash, then a rumble, then five kittens burst out a room and skidded to a halt behind Wufei.

"Wha-?"

"Oh hell…" Hoshi dived behind Wufei as well just as the two little kids he had seen earlier burst out the room and ran past, screaming. "Little monsters." Hoshi muttered, when they'd gone.

"I'm sure." There was a 'DING-DONG' noise. Hoshi left Wufei to his own amusements as she went to open the door. There was a silence then loud squealing, the kind you only get when a large group of teenage fan-girls accumulates, started. 

Unfortunately for Wufei, he didn't realise the danger he was in.

If he had, there would be no next chapter of this fic, which, in some ways, may not have been a bad thing.

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{1} I swear my next-door neighbour's kid called his hamster this!

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Yumiko: I can't believe you didn't get rid of Katie and Ryan before the end of this chapter.

Hoshi: I admit it, I'm a fool. I am the idiot savant.

Yumiko: Indeed. Those little monsters are going to drive me insane!

Hoshi: **mutters** Too late.

Yumiko: How rude!

Hoshi: Review please!


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